


Sending 1-4-3

by kaithereal



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 04:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6224566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaithereal/pseuds/kaithereal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The most frustrating thing about the whole situation is that Kim Jongin always manages to evade Kyungsoo’s wrath and fists of fury. Every single time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sending 1-4-3

Kyungsoo angrily plops down on his bed, phone clutched in his small hand. He’s infuriated. No, he’s BEYOND infuriated. His asshole of a best friend, Jongin, decides it would be a great idea to rename all his contacts on his phone “turds”, and has since left Kyungsoo’s apartment before the elder found out.

The most frustrating thing about the whole situation is that Kim Jongin always manages to evade Kyungsoo’s wrath and fists of fury. Every single time. It must be the reason why Jongin is the only one capable of being Kyungsoo’s best friend, or else his head would’ve been severed from his neck a long time ago.

Kyungsoo scrolls through his contacts with furrowed eyebrows, internally groaning at all the “turds” he sees on his screen. Some numbers he recognizes (like his mother’s) and he quickly changes it back to what he had them saved as before the fiasco.

At the very bottom Kyungsoo notices one contact that is saved as “#1 turd”. Scowling, he taps the name, not bothering to look at the number before typing a scathing message.

 **From** : Kyungsoo  
**To** : #1 Turd  
JONGIN ISTG THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU I’LL BURN EVERYTHING YOU LOVE.

It’s not even a minute later when Kyungsoo receives a reply.

 **To** : Kyungsoo  
**From** : #1 Turd  
ummm im not sure what jongin has done to you but im very sorry for you loss my fellow stranger

Kyungsoo blinks. What?

 **From** : Kyungsoo  
**To** : #1 Turd  
Uhhh you’re not Jongin?

Kyungsoo’s phone pings again.

 **To** : Kyungsoo  
**From** : #1 Turd

unfortunately. if u want I can beat jongin up for you. im seeing him in two hours anyways

Kyungsoo stares at his screen. Who is he talking to?

 **From** : Kyungsoo  
**To** : #1 Turd  
That would be phenomenal, thanks. I’m sorry for yelling at you over text earlier. Jongin messed with my phone and now I don’t know who’s who.

Kyungsoo watches as his screen lights up.

 **To** : Kyungsoo  
**From** : #1 Turd  
ah that ballsac. he needs to get laid

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. Ballsac? Is this kid still in high school?

 **From** : Kyungsoo  
**To** : #1 Turd  
More like he needs to stop acting so macho and actually ask Byun Baekhyun out.

Kyungsoo has enough dirt on Jongin to last him a century. Retaliation is brutal but revenge is sweet.

 **To** : Kyungsoo  
**From** : #1 Turd  
WAIT, hold uP KIM JONGIN likes BYUN BAEKHYUN. the vocal major. tiny. pink hair ??? is this even real?

 **From** : Kyungsoo  
**To** : #1 Turd  
It’s as real as Park Chanyeol’s ferret club membership. I guarantee that I provide a high-class level of reliable information. 

 **To** : Kyungsoo  
**From** : #1 Turd  
shiiiiiiiiiit, jongin’s really going to get it today. btw who should I be thanking for this glorious bit of information?

Kyungsoo grins smugly.

 **From** : Kyungsoo  
**To** : #1 Turd  
Do Kyungsoo. Nice to meet you…?

 **To** : Kyungsoo  
**From** : #1 Turd  
Oh Sehun, at your service. Nice to kinda meet you Do Kyungsoo. Ive heard a lot about you from Jongin

Kyungsoo eyes widen. OH. Oh Sehun. The owner of the glorious ass that Kyungsoo praises oh a daily basis. All the puzzle pieces suddenly fit together. Jongin has one-uped him after all. What a schemer.

 **From** : Kyungsoo  
**To** : Glorious Booty  
The pleasure is all mine Oh Sehun. Seeing as we obviously share ill sentiments towards Jongin, I believe we will become great friends.

That’s right Kyungsoo. One step closer to the booty.

 **To** : Kyungsoo  
**From** : Glorious Booty  
lookin’ forward to this blooming relationship kyungsoo

Kyungsoo lies back onto his bed with a smirk. Maybe Kim Jongin isn’t such a vile creature after all.

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be part of an group of ficlets I was going to write for December but I completely failed. Anyways, everyone could use some more SeSoo in their lives. I don't typically swear in fics but I thought it really suited Sehun's character here. Kudos and comments are always appreciated :)


End file.
